Feeling Lonely? You’re Not Alone
Have you ever felt lonely even when you’re surrounded by people?
Loneliness is something many of us experience, and this happens more often than we would care to admit. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. But if you are at work, socialising with friends, eating dinner with family, and you still feel empty inside, you will recognise a feeling of a lack of connection with other people. Not just with the world at large, but even with people closest to us. Loneliness can be painful, but it is also our mind’s way of letting us know that we need to make more meaningful connections with others.
Why do We Feel Lonely?
There are a number of reasons why loneliness shows up. These can include:
Life changes
Starting a new job
Moving to a new area
Retiring from work
Ending a relationship
The loss of a pet
The passing of someone close
Additionally, mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression and feelings of low self-worth make it more difficult to reach out and make meaningful connections with others.
Modern life also plays a role - so much time is now spent online, we can be ‘connected’ for much of our time, but still feel that we are unseen and unheard.
How Loneliness Affects Us
Loneliness is more than an unpleasant feeling; it can have a real impact on our mental and physical health. People who are experiencing loneliness often say they feel more stressed, have a low mood and sleep poorly. Over time, it can erode a person’s self-esteem, making it harder to connect and creating a cycle of loneliness that is difficult to break.
Overcome Loneliness, One Small Step At A Time
If loneliness has been weighing on you, here are a few ideas you might try:
Accept the feelings - notice that you are feeling lonely, avoid judging yourself and treat yourself kindly.
Connect – Make a conscious effort to call or text someone; maybe ask someone for a coffee. Small connections over time build up and help reduce the feeling of loneliness.
Get involved – Join a class, club, or volunteering group. Making connections with like-minded people can start to build a sense of belonging.
Look after yourself – Looking after your body can help lift your mood. Exercise, eating well, doing nice things for yourself, and resting enough will also help improve your level of self-worth.
Talk about it – Sometimes the bravest thing is to say, “I’m struggling.” Counselling can offer a safe, supportive space to share what you’re feeling.
How Counselling Supports You
Sometimes loneliness is so deep it can be hard to even take a first step towards making connections. Talking with a counsellor about your loneliness will help you to feel heard, but more than that, it can mean you begin to understand the roots of your loneliness. Over time, you can work to build your confidence in connecting with others and start to explore new ways of building meaningful relationships. With your counsellor, there is no need to put on a brave face. Your sessions are about you, where you can be heard and understood without judgment.
You’re Only Human
Loneliness is, at times, simply part of being human. But the good news is that you don’t have to let it take over or define your life. It is possible to move forward from isolation into connectedness, into a world where you feel valued, heard and seen.
If you are struggling right now, reaching out could be the first important step towards change. I am here to listen and to walk alongside you as you navigate your way back to meaningful connections.